A Change Of Heart
by a2agenesgirl
Summary: Alex and Gene finally realise their true feelings... but will there be a happy ending?
1. 1 Change Of Heart

She could not stand the man. He was boyishly obnoxious with a misleading cold gaze that could cut through any room. If his stare could not kill, his quick-witted put-downs could, and did. He kept his enemies and friends at an equal distance to establish complete control and power by fearful default, which left her frustrated and isolated. If he had an emotional Achilles' heel, she could not find it. She came close once while mentioning his ex-wife, but he only managed a snort, a puff of his cigar and a dramatic swig of single malt. His self-righteous hypocrisy was staggering, and his scowl was bitterness personified. As she got to know him, she let her feisty side show which was met by annoyingly excellent comebacks and the same stony expression. His presence in her life was infuriating because he could not, would not, reveal his intentions, thoughts or feelings to anyone, it seemed. He was extremely guarded, and how he existed at the centre of the universe without relying on anything or anyone confused and bemused her. She could not stand him at all.

Then she saw him kiss another woman.

She felt like an intruder; a peeping tom. She sensed herself gawping but she could not tear herself away: it was the first time that she had seen his passion poured into anything besides anger or righteousness .Beforehand, she had seen him as purely a superior work colleague whose emotions were shielded from the world. That kiss changed everything. His hand holding her face looked lovingly soft, a stark contrast to the hand giving criminals the backhand of the law. Before she knew it, she was imagining herself in that embrace with him, and realised that the repulsion he caused her to feel was actually a mask conjured by her logic. Now, her heart was winning, yet it began to sink as she watched them stagger drunkenly along the moonlit lane.


	2. 2 Put On Some Herp Albert

The next day in the office was excruciating. She could not believe how easily she had convinced herself that the sexual tension was merely office politics covering irritation and loathing. However, was she imagining the tension, actually using that to cover up the naïve awkwardness of a crush? Each sarcastic remark he made was a stab at her façade of neutrality. But instead of breaking it, he was pushing and bending it painfully until it protruded like a splintered bone.

"A word, Detective Inspector." He only ever called her Detective Inspector when he was angry. Well, more pissed off than usual. Good, she thought. He wasn't getting the reaction to his comedy act he'd hoped for, and he wanted to know why. Although he took the piss out of her 'psychology bullshit', he was pretty damn good at it himself, which neither of them liked to admit.

"Yes, Gov?"

"Being the macho-man that I am," he began, "I do not have room for pansies in my department. I appreciate that, as a woman, you can be whiny, hormonal and you like to be… how do you put it? Fiery? This calm, collected, don't-fuck-with-me attitude of yours is rather unsettling me, Bolly. My super-human abilities in mind-reading tell me that you are having an off-day. I would appreciate it if you would piss off and have a good cry because this smouldering look you're sporting is getting me rather excited. Comprende?"

When he finally stopped for breath, he took a gulp from his flask of whiskey and waited for appraisal in her returning remark. She considered replying in a snap and leaving him with no satisfaction for his efforts. However, she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Actually, Guv, I've always had a don't-fuck-with-me attitude which, if I remember correctly, has always gotten you rather excited. Furthermore, you're mind reading skills must have also helped you discover that I have decided to no longer fuel your macho bullshit, so the reason I am having an off day is because you make it impossible for anyone to forget that you think you are the centre of the bloody universe!"

"I am your bloody DCI, so I will be at the centre of your universe until you get so sick of my voice, you're pretty little face will be hurtling from the 11th storey and be splattered all over my bloody Quattro!"

"You'd love that wouldn't you? The alpha-male who broke his colleague… You need control, Gene, and it's pathetic."

He could see that she was really getting irate. "Look, go home and calm down… then maybe we could light a few candles, put on some Herp Albert…"

"Oh, piss off."

"I'll see you tonight then, Bolls."

As she stormed through the office, she felt herself blush and realised how much she was hoping that he would bring the wine.


	3. 3 Thanks Be To The Gene Genie

By the time he got there, it was clear no more wine was needed. She hadn't drunk this much since the night they both met. She managed to stumble to the door to answer the knock and fumble with the lock to let him in. Being a part-time, borderline alcoholic, he noticed her glazed stare immediately. It was going to be a long night.

"Even by my standards, you've had a lot," he slurred, implying he wasn't completely T-total himself. He strode into the apartment, revealing a bottle of red in his hand, unopened.

"Yet, you bring more wine?"

He gave her a pitying look and retorted, "Never question the presence of alcohol. Thanks be to the Gene Genie."

He went to the kitchen to grab another glass, seeing the extent of the binge in the row of wine bottles near the sink. However, the size of the problem had broken through his ego to prevent open hypocrisy in her drunken state.

He realised that he had placed himself in a vulnerable position, but it was one he had been in with her before. However, their relationship had changed dramatically in the last few months, so the bond between them now caused a gravitating pull between them. He knew that she had gotten like this because she was upset with him… for some reason or another. He wanted nothing more than to drink the night away with her, but he couldn't cope with talking about feelings and crap like that. Not tonight. But she was the rare object of his affection. He could not use her and lose her. And not just because of office logistics having to change. He could not believe he was beginning to deeply care about this woman or, rather, beginning to realise his long-standing emotional connection with the woman of his dreams.

However, he needn't have worried; when he entered the sitting room he saw that she had fallen asleep on the sofa and spilled her newly refilled wine glass on the floor. 'It looks like tonight isn't the night,' he thought with a contradictory feeling of relief and sadness. He bent down to pick up her glass and wondered if he should wipe the floor. 'Jesus… she's already got me thinking about housework,' he thought. 'If we had our own place…' He decided to stop thinking. He knew that they could, should never be together and that he shouldn't have let himself fall this far.

He looked up at her peaceful face from his kneeling position and wondered if she was dreaming of him like he did of her every night. It would mean she was slipping away from her world but closer to his, which he selfishly wanted. He could not remember what her struggle felt like, but remembered enough that he didn't want to.


	4. 4 That's a First

She awoke with a jolt. He fell backwards and she sat bolt upright, biting her lip to hold back laughter, rather unsuccessfully.

"Shut up, Bolly," he grumbled.

"That's a first," she chuckled. "Too drunk to think of a smart-arse comment…"

"No, too concussed. That bloody hurt." He scrambled to his feet, holding his head high, as if repressing the memory of what had just happened and returning to his unflappable self.

"You're obviously tired. I'll, uhm… head back home…"

"No," she looked up, almost a pleading look in her eyes. "Stay. Please."

He sat next to her and put his arms around her as a single tear rolled down her blushed cheek. She quickly wiped it away, as she knew he would have no time for her 'like that'. She could feel his heart beating through his chest. She was sure it was getting faster too. She closed her eyes to let the moment engulf her, and listened to their breathing in sacred silence between them. His touch said it all.

After an indefinite amount of time, she realised that his grip had loosened and as she looked up, she saw that he had drifted off. She smiled as he exhaled softly with an uncharacteristic sigh. And then he ruined the moment with a manlier snort. Typical. She leant back onto his chest and began to breathe slower in time with the rise and fall of his torso. She began to fall asleep in his arms, happier than ever.


	5. 5 It's a Fine Line Between Love and Hate

She sensed that he had awoken, and so decided to get up too. He looked rather panicked: he had let his guard down and knew that she would use her psycho-whatsit to see his true feelings. He gave her an apologetic look and stuttered, "I'd better get going… I…"

"I know," she interrupted, "People will talk. We don't want it to get back to your tart…"

He was speechless. Well, almost. "And we get to the heart of the issue! You jealous, Bolls? Bit lonely and can't stand that the Manc Lion is still a hit with the ladies?" She was just staring at the floor, small tear droplets staining her dress. "Say something. I'm still a bit in the dark over here."

She gazed up at him, looking into his eyes, searching for anything to comfort her. "You will never understand what I have risked for you. How much I have sacrificed to stay by your side."

"Why, Drakey?" His voice was shaking.

"Exactly. Why bother?" Tears were steadily streaming down her face now. "I won't from now on, since it's perfectly clear that neither of us are gaining anything from my efforts."

"And what about my efforts, Bolly?"

"What? Your efforts in pushing me as far away as possible?"

"I am protecting you, you dozy mare…"

"Why? Because you get so angry you might do something?"

" No. Because I care so much about you we might both do something we regret." He turned towards the wall, rubbing his eyes. He couldn't believe that he had said it. She rose from the sofa, slightly unsteady on her feet. She had never been good on wine. She placed a shaking hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed to make her presence known. And as he turned, he softly spoke her name. She then slapped him. Hard.

"You smug bastard!" He had recoiled in shock, holding his cheek in disbelief. He straightened up and their faces were inches apart. Her lips began to tremble as the gravity between them suddenly felt stronger. "It's a fine line between love and hate," she hissed.

"All this fighting talk is giving me the horn." She went to slap him again, but he managed to grab her arms and restrain her. He could see the rage in her eyes, forcing yet more tears down her face. There was silence for a while, only broken by their heavy breathing. "…Maybe we should just swallow our pride… and give in to… our feelings?" What was happening to him?

"Why fight it?" She leaned in closer, ignoring the faint smell of scotch and put her arms around him, resting her hands on his lower back.

"Don't hold back, Bolly."

"I don't intend to." With that, she pressed her lips against his. They were surprisingly soft and immediately became animated and frantic with lust. "Gene, I…"

"Jesus, do you ever shut up, Alex?"

"You called me Alex," she smiled.

"Point proven."

"Point taken."


	6. 6 Wakey Wakey, Drakey

She awoke strangely rested: it was the first night that she could remember where she hadn't suffered flashbacks or night terrors. Alex sat up and rubbed her eyes, which gradually adjusted and brought the profile of Gene Hunt into focus. Now that is a hell of a hangover. She just looked at him for a while, watching him button his shirt blissfully unaware of her wandering eyes. He bent down at the foot of the bed to reach for his tie so Alex took this opportunity to slither down the bed sheets to greet him. He sat back on the edge of the bed and felt her palms slide around his shoulders as she whispered, "Good Morning, Gene," in his ear. She felt Hunt tense and shudder as she kissed the nape of his neck which made her grin.

"Morning, Bolly. Aren't we happy this morning?" Her heart sank slightly as he was no longer calling her Alex. She supposed that Hunt was getting into character as it were for going into the office. "Be a good little wifey and get me a brew."

"It's a shame. You've ruined my preconception of you always having a liquid breakfast." Alex smiled at her own wit.

"Tea is liquid. Wakey wakey, Drakey."

She reluctantly got up off the bed, but secretly smirked as she sensed him watch her naked body head towards the door. Alex turned and slipped into her silk dressing gown, watching as Gene's mouth dropped open slightly and she then headed to the kitchen. She couldn't stop smiling as she recalled their night of passion and lived out their future in her mind on a continuous loop. Alex had never dreamed of a man being able to make her feel they way Gene Hunt did. As well as last night, the way he made her feel in general, everyday in the office, was astounding.

Alex filled the kettle at the sink, but suddenly became light-headed and remembered that feeling to signal an approaching vision/hallucination. She braced herself by holding onto the edge of the sink cabinet and when she looked out of the window, the scene her sub-conscience had conjured brought a tear to her eye. Alex was looking at a slightly older version of herself, sat on a deckchair with a glass of red and the latest psychological thriller by her favourite author. To the other Alex's left, her daughter was on a solitary swing, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. It wasn't Molly, but Alex somehow knew that she was her daughter, the man in the garden with them being her father. She was shouting for the man stood behind her to push her higher as he told her how dangerous it was, and how brave she was. The other Alex looked up from her book to look at her family and take a moment to realise how good her life had become. Alex watched as she got up from the chair and ran over to kiss her husband: Gene Hunt.


	7. 7 Questions

"I always knew you'd be a nosy neighbour. Who you staring at?" The real Gene snapped her out of the daydream with a shock. "Jesus, Bolly, you know I can't deal with weepy women…" He walked towards her with his arms outstretched, and she obliged to the hug she desperately needed. What had she had just seen? And why?

"I'm sorry, just ignore me." Alex said with an unconvincing chuckle. Gene kissed her on top of her head, leaving her to make his cuppa.

As she put the kettle on to boil, Alex began to dissect what she had just seen. The vivid, tangible daydream which seemed to be showing her what she could have if she gave up trying to get home. Gene could not be 'the one' – he was imaginary, for God's sake! Molly, her daughter, was real and needed her. Alex hated herself for even thinking about Gene in that way as it meant she was considering jeopardising her real life for a, let's face it, twisted fantasy. But then she looked at the man sat in her flat and it all felt so real. Her feelings for him were real. The worst thing of all was that she could never share this with him. Alex was met with disgust and anger when she tried to tell him the truth about her situation; to be fair, did she really expect him to believe her? When Sam had told her about his time in Fenchurch, she thought it was a highlight of her career as a psychologist. Alex analysed him and concluded that he needed her help, but even then struggled to pin down how and why Sam was having this experience. She had thought it was merely conjured out of fear for returning to the real world near the end of his comatose, when he had more conscious thought. When she had heard about his 'suicide', she had been distraught as she let herself take the blame for not helping him. Now, she didn't know what to think or what to do. If Sam had chosen this world, why couldn't she?

However, Sam chose this world and now he's dead and for some time Alex believed Gene Hunt had killed him. Her values and principles were being tested and her well-being was quickly diminishing. Alex was going mad, for want of a better word. After years of assessing schizophrenics, paranoiacs, depressives and the like, the tables had turned and now Alex had to scrutinise herself. For some reason, Gene Hunt made Alex feel safe and for now, that was the only comfort she had.


	8. 8 Getting Ready

_**I hope everyone enjoyed the first 7 chapters. I'm trying to get the hang of this so please comment, review and whatever because I would love to hear some feedback! To be honest, I have a vague idea about how I want this to end, but nothing is final and your feedback may help with future chapters!**_

"Sugar, Gene?" Alex called through as the kettle boiled, willing her voice not to waver.

"Yeah, at least 6, doll," he called back. 

'Doll? That's new…' Alex thought. She reluctantly began to add the ridiculous amounts of sugar to Gene's coffee when another thought popped into her head: 'I could get used to this…' She carried Gene's mug into the living room and placed it on the table in front of him, which was gratified by an indecipherable grunt. "I'd better go and get dressed." 

"Do you 'ave to?" Gene said with a boyish smirk. "It'd make a day in the office a lot more enjoyable." 

Alex gave him a playful push, to which he responded with a prod to her side, making her jump and slap his hand away with a schoolgirl giggle. She almost leapt from the sofa to avoid becoming entangled with Gene's wandering hands, and headed towards her bedroom to get dresses, leaving Gene alone with his thoughts. 

As the he heard the shower power on, Gene's filthy mind inevitably began imagining her in there with his wandering hands… He picked up the coffee and took a tentative sip. His thoughts then moved to what biscuits would vastly improve the coffee: a Garibaldi, pink wafers… However, Gene could not pretend for long that his morning biscuit choice was his prioritised thought. He didn't have to worry about coming into the office with Alex; they did that often with no obvious questioning looks from the CID team. He didn't have to worry about sitting with her in Luigi's; they did that every night. Public displays of affection may have been a trickier obstacle, but Gene decided to tackle that when they came to it. The real problem though, was that Gene was frightened - really scared – terrified that he was in too deep with Alex. Although they had only spent one night together, they had a hell of a history, but a painfully short future was all they could expect to have together. Alex always talked about 'going home' and Gene was pretty sure that he wasn't going to be a part of it. Deep down, he knew why but couldn't bring himself to think about it, as it would surely tear him apart. 

Alex stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She realised that she was smiling and noticed that her cheeks were hurting from the relentless grin across her face. She went into her room where the day's outfit was hung on the end of the bed. Alex got dressed quickly; she missed Gene already. When her hair was done and make-up applied, Alex headed back to Gene in the living room who was waiting by the door, itching to go catch the scum of Fenchurch East. They smiled at each other. Alex headed towards the door and grabbed her coat and headed through the flat door which Gene had opened for her. 

"Alex…?" Gene almost whispered as he closed the door. As Alex turned back, he stepped forward with a surprise kiss. It was soft and tender; two words Alex had never believed possible to be associated with anything Gene Hunt. She responded with equal passion and tenderness as her hands found his neck. Gene's hands were on her lower back, pulling her as close as he could. As the kiss became slower, Gene leant his head back, still holding Alex close and looked deep into her eyes. He kissed her forehead and proceeded to put his arm around her as they walked down the corridor.


	9. 9 PDA Officially Tackled

_**Really excited that the previous chapters have had so many reads, but I would REALLY appreciate some reviews to know if I'm doing OK! This is just a filler chapter while I try to get a more concrete idea for the ending. Thank you for sticking with it and I hope you enjoy!**_

The first few hours in CID that morning were pretty uneventful: Alex and Shaz were buried in paperwork, Ray and Chris were busy tying up some lose ends on a robbery case and Gene stayed in his office. Alex was surprised at how easy it was getting back into work with Gene. She still respected him as her superior work colleague and it was like she had more respect for him now he had let his guard down and she knew him slightly better. Somehow she had managed to focus all of energy on getting her work done and having light conversation with Shaz, who didn't mention anything about them so Alex assumed they had successfully covered their endeavour last night.

Just as Shaz was filing away the last of the forms, Gene came bursting out of his office. 'No rest for the wicked' Alex thought. Gene just had to look around the office to get the team assembled ready in front of him.

"Right, you lot," Gene barked. "There's a body bin found down by the docks." Alex felt like she had just been shot through the chest. _I'm happy, hope you're happy too._

"Ray, Chris, we need to get down there sharpish."

The DCI made his way through the gaggle of CID and made his way to the door. He didn't look at Alex. She was furious. "Gov! Wait!" She walked over quickly and said quietly, "What about me?" 

Gene looked at her with a hint of pity in his eyes. "You shouldn't come, Bolly. Too many... memories." 

"I'll be fine. Honestly, Gov." Alex showed him an unconvincing smile. "I'm coming with you." 

Gene opened the door and gestured for her to step through before him. Ray and Chris walked towards them but, as if he had changed his mind about going, Gene shut the door before any of them could leave.

"By the way, Drake..." Before she could respond, his lips connected with hers like they were magnetised and they shared a passionate embrace as if they were the only two people in the world. Gene broke the embrace reluctantly and looked at Alex who was totally in shock, along with the rest of CID which erupted with wolf-whistles and cheers. Gene twisted to face his team with a look of slight embarrassment which was somehow a signal to the team to shut their mouths. They quickly silenced and Gene opened to the door, leading his team to the Quattro.

They didn't get more than 10 paces away from the double doors when Alex stopped in her tracks. Gene, Ray and Chris stopped, puzzled. Alex had recovered from Gene's spontaneous public display of affection and, just to show that she didn't care what anyone had thought of it, she grabbed Gene and kissed him like she had never kissed before. He responded the exact same way Alex had: he froze and tentatively tried to move his lips in sync with hers. 

"Bloody 'ell," Ray interjected. "Are you two gonna stop for breath at any point today?" 

Alex turned to scowl at him. "I may do it more, now that I know it annoys you so much." 

Gene looked as though he was about to voice how offended he was that Alex would use him like that, but then realised he didn't care. He simply took Alex under his arm and the team continued through the building and outside to the Quattro.


	10. 10 Too Many Memories

The Quattro screeched to a halt at the entrance of Fenchurch Docks after a daring handbrake turn which only heightened Alex's apprehension of going back onto the docks. Before she could change her mind, Alex jumped out of the car and looked up at the dock sign. Her head felt light and hazy and her vision became blurred. The others got out of the car and Gene told Chris and Ray to go ahead to the scene. Gene walked to the other side of the Quattro and, to reassure Alex that he was there for her, he squeezed her hand and held on tight as they walked past the uniformed officers guarding the scene.

The body of a young male was slumped against the inside of the wall of the boat's shelter. There was no blood and no obviously fatal injuries. Alex began to feel slightly better. At least he hadn't been shot – Alex knew that she wouldn't have been able to deal with that case. _I'm happy, hope you're happy too. _Too many memories.

"Gov, Ma'am?" Chris piped up as he walked back from a conversation with the first officer on the scene, desperately trying to remember the details he had just heard. "If you look at his right arm, there's a needle mark. They won't know the cause of death until the post mortem, but at the moment it looks like simple, self-inflicted overdose."

"Thanks, Chris." Alex said, giving him an appreciative look. "DCI Hunt and I will..."

"We'll leave you two to wrap things up here," Gene interrupted to the irritation and anger of Alex. "I'm sure one o' the plods can give you a lift back. Okay? Right. Good. Come on, Bolls." 

Alex was speechless and was led back to the Quattro by Hunt. As soon as they got in the car, Alex exploded. "What the bloody hell are you playing at? They could have missed something, we could have helped them. What was..."

"Look, Bolly, I'm happy to let them get on with it. You're always harpin' on about givin' Ray and Chris more responsibility, so I thought you'd be 'appy about me listenin' to you!" Gene paused and looked at Alex. "And, I don't think you need to be spendin' much time on the docks. You know why."

Alex put her hand on Gene's and smiled at the sentiment. "I know you're trying to protect me, Gene, but, this is my job. I was fine. I _am_ fine. If it was a gunshot wound, it would have been different but I'm fine with this. Honestly."

Gene was unconvinced but decided in this instance to keep shtum. He felt it was his duty, now more than ever, to protect her but he knew that she wouldn't appreciate being patronised like this. Without another word, he drove back to the station and realised that he would probably regret leaving Chris and Ray in charge of a murder scene. If they didn't return within a couple of hours, he would radio them and possibly give Bolls the slip to go and check up on them. Alex was right, though. This is her job and she'll be in worse situations than that. He had always worried about Alex getting hurt, but it was like his feelings had increased ten-fold overnight. But, Gene knew he had to accept that he couldn't protect Alex from everything. And that terrified him.


	11. 11 Knight In Shining Armour

Ray and Chris returned within the hour with nothing startling to report back. They would have to wait for a full post-mortem before deciding what exactly to investigate. They had an ID on the body, but he had never been in trouble with the law before so they had no leads. It looked like an open and shut case, even to Alex. But, in her experience, an open and shut case was usually too good to be true. She knew that Gene would take it at face value but, if she felt it was necessary, she was sure that with some gentle persuasion he may delve into it further with her by his side.

Alex began to wonder whether Ray and Chris had missed something at the scene. She felt a pang of guilt at the thought, but quickly decided that she would go to the scene soon to check it over. Alex scanned the office to find it relatively quiet and checked that Hunt's blinds were shut. She took a deep breath and rose nonchalantly from her chair and almost power-walked out of the office. She stopped as she approached Shaz; she had better tell someone where she was.

"Shaz, I just need to go and check something at the docks. I'll be back soon. Oh, and don't tell the Gov." Shaz shot her a puzzled look but simply shrugged and agreed as Alex left the office in a hurry. 

As soon as she was out of range, she began to trot through the building in fear that someone would stop her. She got the keys for an unmarked car, jumped in and sped away before she could change her mind. 

She pulled up to the docks entrance and parked. She reached for her radio, but decided to leave it in the car in case the Gov radioed if he found out where she was. Alex flashed her ID at the PC guarding the scene who then let her through. The forensic team were still present but Alex presumed that they would be nearly finished by now. She collared the nearest blue-suit-clad body who confirmed that nothing untoward was suggested by the scene. Shame overwhelmed her once again that she had doubted Ray and Chris. She supposed she owed them a drink too. It looked like she'd be getting a full round in tonight at Luigi's. 

Alex took a final look at the crime scene and admitted defeat. There really was nothing else to it. As she turned onto the dock itself, fear and repulsion coursed through her body making her unsteady on her feet. Alex's gaze was met by an all too familiar face: Layton. She heard a gunshot and she fell to the floor, her heart beating faster than Alex had thought possible. Then, in her ear, she heard the smallest of whispers: _I'm happy, hope you're happy too. _Alex gasped and burst into tears, half screaming with each draw of breath. She dropped onto her knees, burying her head in her hands in an attempt to escape. It was no use: closing her eyes only brought more visions of guns, bullets and Molly... She found herself lying on the dock as the rain began to fall. Why had she thought this was a good idea? 

"Alex? BOLLY!" Gene ran over to Alex, her slumped body shaking from the force of her weeping. He put his hands underneath her back and lifted her with surprising ease. She managed to put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest and she began to calm. 'My knight in shining armour,' she silently mused. From his touch, Alex knew she was safe.


	12. 12 This Guy's In Love With You

_**Again, a filler chapter. I know it's short, but the next chapter will most probably be longer, as it will lead on to their discussion of what had conspired throughout previous chapters. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and subscribed as it has given me real encouragement to upload more chapters in quick succession.**_

_**I would also like to apologize for spelling 'Herb Alpert' incorrectly in chapter 2! I think I have the correct spelling now though!**_

Gene drove Alex back to the station. It was killing Gene to drive the Quattro in such an average, orderly fashion but as he looked over and found Alex to be asleep, he decided it was the kindest thing he could do. Gene had seen Alex in 'one of 'er weird moods', but he had never seen her like this. She was terrified and exhausted. Alex loved to bury her head in work, but in this case that was counter-productive.

Gene parked outside of Luigi's and carried Alex upstairs. He laid her gently on the sofa, found a blanket and covered her with it. Her face looked peaceful now; she was in a deep sleep seemingly. He kissed her forehead without stirring her and stroked the hair out of her eyes.

"Gene...?" Alex mumbled as she awoke. The last thing she remembers was being carried by him, her face buried in his chest. As her vision came into focus, she noticed a small piece of paper propped up on her coffee table with her name written on it in the unmistakable scrawl of a certain DCI.

_Alex, I'll be back as soon as possible. Get some rest and DON'T go downstairs_

_because you were in a right state and it will be too much for you to handle. _

_I've told Luigi to take anything you need up to you, so just phone down if you need to._

_When I get back, I'm going to tell you how stupid you were going to the docks._

_We'll shout and you can even cry if you want to, then we'll kiss and make up.  
Good plan? See you soon, Bolly._

_Your Gene Genie._

The note made Alex smile. 'Bless him,' she thought. She rose from the sofa and headed towards the cabinet containing her cassette tapes. Alex instinctively reached for her trusty 'Spandau Ballet' tape, but another tape caught her eye. Written on the side, in the same handwriting as the note, was 'Herb Alpert'. Gene had already wormed his way into her cassette collection, and Alex wondered what else he was planning to move here. She took the tape out of the case put it into the player. Seconds after pushing play, 'This Guy's In Love With You' began to drift through the speakers. Alex laughed in spite of herself and turned the volume up.

She heard a key turn in her front door. Gene let himself in and, as he realised she was playing his tape, a shameless smile spread across his face. "You like Herb?"

"I suppose I could learn to like it," Alex smiled. They crossed the room and they hugged. The song changed in the background to 'Route 101'. "Ooh, I know this one!"


	13. 13 The Tape

_**I hope that this chapter propels the plot forward a little for you; it has been a bit vague so far! Thanks for all of your kind reviews and those of you who keep reading on.**_

"Now," Gene began, "I want you t' tell me exactly what happened at the docks.

Gene had sat her on the couch beside him after getting them both a glass of wine. Alex recounted the events in a neutral tone: these occurrences were normal to her and so she didn't really need to tell him for her sake.

"It happens a lot, Gene, all the time in fact. It's nothing for you to worry about."

"But I do worry, Bolly, I do."

Alex sunk into his arms and put her feet up on the sofa. "Your sweet but, honestly, I'm fine. I can deal with it." The truth was, she knew that she couldn't divulge the other things she had seen. Visions of her daughter, her past, the clown... Gene would think her mad. It hurt Alex deeply that she could never let her guard down completely with him, and he would be hurt too if he realised. However, Alex decided that muddling through with him was better than muddling through without him. "Do you want to go down to Luigi's then?"

"I don't really feel like it, if I'm honest," he replied with perfect ambivalence. Honestly? He wouldn't mind popping down for a few rounds with the team, but Gene didn't believe Alex when she said she was fine. "I'd much rather stay here with you."

"Okay, we'll have a quiet night in." Alex knew he was lying. It was adorable that Gene Hunt would give up a knees-up in a bar for her. It was more than adorable, it was amazing. "If you don't mind, I'm going to change out of my work clothes. I won't be long." She leaned over and kissed him briefly on the lips and then disappeared into her bedroom.

By this time, the Herb Alpert tape had stopped. Gene rose from the sofa and went to search through Alex's tape collection. He found a wide variety - from the Beatles to Japan, from Joan Jett to Duran Duran – but none seemed to tickle his fancy. The cabinet to the left of her collection was slightly ajar and, as curiosity got the better of him, Gene opened it to find another stash of cassettes. These were different to the rest; they had 'Alex' written on, followed by a number or a key word. To his shock and further bemusement, he found a tape which read 'Gene Hunt'. Alex would be almost ready now: surely he didn't have time to play it?

While he was pondering this, he heard a door slam behind him. Gene snapped around and dropped the tape, looking at a very angry Alex.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" She ran over, picked up the tape and hastily shut it back in the drawer. "Those tapes, they're like my diary. Have you no concept of privacy?"

"I'm sorry, but wouldn't you be intrigued to find a tape with your name on?"

"What were you doing in there in the first place?"

"Trying to find some decent music to put on... Stop avoiding the question! You tell me what's on that tape and you tell me now, Alex."

Alex could see how scared he was and how hurt that she was so obviously hiding something from him. "Well, it's a diary, Gene. That tape is about you."

"I am a detective, Bolly, I 'ad worked that out for my bloody self."

"This is so embarrassing," Alex put on her best, fake, coy expression. "It was about how I feel about you." She wasn't technically lying.

"An' how do you feel about me, Alex?"

"I thought I'd made that clear! I don't see what there is to be angry about, Gene..."

'I'm angry because I know you're lying', Gene thought. "I'm sorry, maybe I did overreact... It's just a bit, surreal, you know?"

'Don't talk to me about surreal,' Alex jibed silently. "Let's just forget about it."

As she moved closer to him as seductively as she could manage, Gene couldn't help but formulate a plan to find out exactly what was on that tape. How much had Alex already figured out?


	14. 14 One Last Trip

_**Thanks for sticking with this story and please continue to review!**_

The next morning in the office, Alex quickly realised that Gene must have told the team to involve her as little as possible. People talked to her when necessary about mundane aspects of office work, but she heard nothing about the case of the body at the docks apart from small details that she overheard. Like the rest of her team, from those snippets of information, Alex knew that it wasn't a case for CID to deal with: there was really nothing to it, a nice change even for Alex. Although she was initially angry with Hunt for ruling her out, she was a little relieved at not having to think anymore about going back to the docks.

Inevitably, her thoughts wondered back to Gene and the tape he had found. Alex later went back and found the tape he was looking at, being top of the pile. She knew immediately that it was the most hurtful tape he could hear: Alex questioning him, his existence, his loyalty, his decency. The tape in which she does not trust him. All of that was over now; Alex had decided to overlook her initial fears in order to pursue her feelings. But, if Gene heard that tape, it would all be over... she would have to hide it - no, destroy it. None of those hesitations mattered now. Alex loved Gene, and always would.

Alex reached into her jacket pocket and fingered the tape, anticipating wildly to get it out of her life and out of her mind. 'How to destroy it...' she wondered. And then it came to her, out of nowhere. It would involve one last trip to the docks. Alex leapt up from the desk, putting on her jacket and immediately resting her hand on the tape in the pocket.

Alex drove like maniac to the docks: and she had been in a car with the Gov. There were no PCs around and it looked like the scene had been cleared. The sense of urgency overwhelmed her as she entered the property. She stood on the edge of the first dock, and pulled the tape out. She looked at it for a few moments in a momentary lapse of certainty. Alex closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath. She stepped back and hurled the tape as far as she could, opening her eyes just in time to see the tape sink and disappear into the murky water. Relief flooded through her and a weight lifted from her shoulders.

As she turned and walked back to the car, fear started to boil in her chest as the memories of this place began to surface. Alex managed to ward them off successfully however and headed back to the car. As she got in, Alex began to wonder if there were any other tapes she needed to worry about. It was a stupid question; she didn't want Gene to hear any. But, Alex needed that outlet and the ability to listen to all of her tapes in her efforts of figuring out the world around her. She had to trust Gene, and she did. 'I'll just go back and move them...' Alex began to justify. And then she sped off in the direction of her flat.


	15. 15 My Name Is Gene Hunt

Gene slipped the key into the lock, feeling guiltier by the second. He rushed over to the cabinet and opened the drawer to find the stash of diary tapes. But which one? Gene searched but found that his original tape choice was missing. 'She really does know me too well...' Gene thought. He buried his hands right to the bottom, pulling out a mountain of cassettes onto her Alex's floor. Gene chose one from the drawer at random. It only had Alex's name and a number. Gene put the tape in the cassette player and braced himself as he pushed play.

"_My name is Alex Drake. I've been shot and that bullet's taken me back in time. Now I'm lost in 1982 and all I can do is fight, and search, and stay alive, because somehow, I will find a way home."_

Gene paused the tape and released a long, troubled sigh. There were too many tapes to listen to now, but Gene needed to know how much more she had figured out, desperately. There were some things that she could never figure out and things only he knew. But if he could gauge how much she knew already, it may help him judge how much information to relay back to her now.

He grabbed another tape at random and swapped them immediately and pressed play.

"_I thought it was all in my head, but Sam Tyler was in a coma too. He was a copper, in the same place. Now, how is that possible? Sam told me when he woke up, he told me he could hear them begging him for help and he listened. But what if it is a real place? And what if Sam and I both had a purpose there?"_

Gene stopped the tape. Alex had made more connections that he had anticipated, but that didn't really surprise him. He barely had time to digest what he had just heard when his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door slamming behind him. Gene wheeled around on his heels to see Alex herself standing, completely frozen with tear and mascara stained cheeks.

"Alex..."

"How much did you hear..." her voice was a barely-audible whisper. She looked so... disappointed.

"Alex, I'm..."

"HOW MUCH DID YOU LISTEN TO?" her voice was now shaking with anger, but Gene could see the fear flickering in her eyes.

"Only two."

Alex dropped her keys on the floor and scurried over, desperately trying to get the tapes back into the cabinet. Gene could only stand and watch: what had he done? No-one spoke until all of the tapes were back where they belonged – out of sight – and Alex had stopped gulping air between bursts of tears.

"Are you happy now, Gene?" Alex immediately regretted her choice of words, as those damned Bowie lyrics began to play on loop in her mind. "I'm mad, I'm insane, I've... gone wrong. Do love me now, Gene? DO YOU?"

"Of course, I still love you. Do you really think any of that would change? I just hate thinking about all of this playing on your mind and you having nowhere to turn." Gene walked over to Alex and his heart sank as she flinched away from his outstretched arms.

"You would never have believed me!"

"I do believe you! I believe you because I know what you're going through. My name is Gene Hunt, and I was shot in 1953."

_**Duh duh duh! I would just like to point out that I got the exact wording of the tapes used in this chapters from listening to the Ashes To Ashes soundtracks and are not my creation. I hope you're enjoying the story and keep reviewing!**_


	16. 16 More Questions

Alex really was speechless. Gene could see that she was searching for the right words, the right questions, to ask but Alex was having trouble ordering her thoughts, never mind her words.

"Like you, like Sam and like the many others before you. Like the many others who will follow." Gene helped Alex over to the couch: she had frozen with a look of confusion on her face. "Alex? Look at, look at me, Alex."

There was a slight delay in Alex's movements and thoughts. While Gene had Alex quiet, he decided that this was the perfect opportunity to tell her the truth, so he did. He told her everything he knew. About how she had gotten here, how he had gotten there, where they actually were. Alex stayed in a stunned silence throughout the arduous explanations and Gene wondered how much Alex could take in. Gene told her that she had done well from what he heard from the tapes, figuring out at least that she had a purpose. This triggered Alex into asking her first question.

"So, I was right? I have a purpose to fulfil and then I can go home?" It was the question Gene had dreaded the most.

"It depends..." Gene then launched back into an informative description, this time of exactly where they were. Alex's frozen stare changed to shock and tears readily started to fall. Gene tried his best to explain, but he didn't have all of the answers.

"But, if I'm not dead, then why am I in Purgatory? Even if I was... dead, what did I do to end up in Purgatory. Maybe if I rectify that, then I can go home?"

"I'm really not sure Alex. But, I'm pretty sure that if you clear your soul as it were, you you'd go to Heaven, not home. But then again, if you're technically alive... I don't know Alex, I really don't. And, I have no idea why a woman such as yourself wouldn't go straight to Heaven. You're an angel, Alex and you're my angel, but, hell, am I glad you did show up here. Not that I'm glad you were shot, but..."

"Gene, I know what you meant. You're too adorable sometimes." Alex paused and Gene knew she was about to ask a risky question. "Why are you still here, Gene, in Purgatory?"

Gene knew that there was a sub-context to her question: what had he done to merit a sentence this prolonged in Purgatory. Initially, he felt hurt, but understood her doubts. "The truth is I'm not really sure why I'm still here. I could leave, but I don't want to. I have nothing to go back to. I'm dead, Alex. I don't know what Heaven is, but I like it here in limbo."

"When you say you know how to leave...?"

"If you wanted to leave and I could help you, I would. I know it would mean losing you, but I understand that you need your daughter, I really do. Because you're not dead, going to Heaven would be stupid 'cause then you definitely wouldn't see your daughter again. That would be final, that would be it. The only way for you to get back to your world is by fulfilling a purpose and being strong enough to survive in both worlds. And, I swear to God Alex, I will help you and be here for you until the end, you got that?"

Alex nodded wildly as yet more tears fell. Gene lifted his hand and stroked the tears away. "Gene, you know I love you, but I have to see Molly. I have to get back to my daughter."

"Sshhh, Alex, I know, I know."

Alex melted into his arms as Gene tried to calm her. Although Gene had just given her invaluable information and had vowed to help and stand by her, the task seemed all the more complicated and impossible. She knew that she couldn't lose faith; Gene had just told her, she needs to stay strong to make things happen. No matter why Gene had ended up here, Alex knew he was the best kind of man, the best kind of person.

In the pressured silence between them, Alex and Gene realised what a mistake sleeping together was. At the time, they had big doubts as to whether they should act on their feelings but, eventually they had just bubbled over and they followed their powerful desires. Now that everything was out in the open, they realised that their night of passion simply gave them more to lose, and further and harder to fall. Their bond was too strong for them to break away unscathed and, although they were glad they were in this together, they knew it could only end in tears to say the least.

That settled it; Gene and Alex were going to get through together. Neither of them wanted to think about what Alex's success would mean. The small comfort they had was that there was someone who knew their secret. They both had somewhere to turn and someone who could understand. Either way, Gene and Alex knew theirs was a relationship that they could take that to their graves and die remembering an eternal love which crossed the barrier of time to survive. They could die in the knowledge that they had lived and loved in the highest esteem and fullest extent.

_**THE END! I have decided to end it here because I honestly didn't think I could take it much further. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you will take the time to review. I thought it a nice way to end: Alex finding out most of the truth and them still staying together. Obviously, this is set way before the finale, but it obviously wouldn't fit in with the real storyline. It was just a bit of fun!**_


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